


I wrote her a note that said "get out of my school"

by hotgirl



Category: To All the Boys I've Loved Before (Movies)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Coming of Age, F/F, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, Gay Panic, Internalized Homophobia, Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:40:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29614428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotgirl/pseuds/hotgirl
Summary: Lara Jean writes love letters. You write hate letters. — lara jean/genor: lara jean and gen in three acts: childhood friends, enemies, and lovers
Relationships: Chris & Lucas Krapf & Lara Jean Song-Covey, Genevieve "Gen" & Chris, Genevieve "Gen"/Lara Jean Song-Covey, Peter Kavinsky/Lara Jean Song-Covey
Comments: 3
Kudos: 44





	I wrote her a note that said "get out of my school"

**Author's Note:**

> this is [the playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2rZW87XIz8iLoB9vj4iOo8?si=1w_LTbp8SeawhitFZpucbg) i made that inspired me to write this… i’ll probs never write anything else for this franchise again, but somebody had to say this!!! also i like me better is a laragen song not a covinsky song change my mind

You meet Lara Jean Song-Covey on the first day of kindergarten. You'll remember it even years from now because she wears the prettiest dress you've ever seen, and when she smiles, she has these round, glowing cheeks you want to squeeze between your hands. You'll also remember because she has two names. You only have the one, but hearing how pretty "Lara Jean" sounds makes you wish you had two. By recess, you decide that you need to be friends with her.

She's quiet and shy, and so you make the first move.

It looks like this: you sit with her during recess while she reads on the bench, and you ask her what her book is about. "I like the cover," you add, "it looks cute."

She smiles softly and tells you she's reading something from a series called _Geronimo Stilton_ , which she spends all of recess explaining to you. She brushes your hand with hers and neither of you comments on it because you're five-years-old, and you're already the best of friends.

**/**

As it turns out, Lara Jean collects a lot of firsts for you: your first playdate, your first memorized phone number, your first sleepover, your first best friend, your first choice in PE. In turn, you collect a lot of her firsts: her first hand held, her first pinky promise, her first secret keeper, her first study buddy, her first penpal.

The letters are kind of annoying. Lara Jean writes the most beautiful letters you've ever read, and you struggle to string together a paragraph in response. You don't understand why the two of you even have to write letters when you live so close together and see each other every day at school, but Lara Jean thinks it's cool, so you tough it out and do it anyway.

It doesn't stay like this forever: just the two of you. As time goes on, your friend group grows. First, there's your cousin Chris, who you swear you hate. Then, there's Josh, who moves next door to Lara Jean. And then John Ambrose, who isn't John Ambrose until Lara Jean makes him John Ambrose. And with John Ambrose comes Trevor and Peter Kavinsky. Peter Kavinsky, who is by far the least gross boy you have ever had the pleasure of talking to...

But you were the only one who was there when Lara Jean's mom died. You held her hand and hugged her when both of you were barely old enough to understand what dying meant. You. Not any of them.

That's important to you: that you were Lara Jean's friend first. That, unlike John Ambrose, Trevor, and Peter Kavinsky, you've met Lara Jean's sisters, and Kitty lets you call her Kitty instead of Katherine like Josh has to call her, and, unlike Chris, Margot has thanked you for taking such good care of her little sister.

So, tonight, you curl up together, leaving your pink sleeping bag abandoned. Chris will complain of you kicking her to crawl over to Lara Jean in the morning, but you can live with that.

"Mm, comfy," she mumbles, giving you a one-armed hug.

"Mhm," you agree. Being next to Lara Jean is always comfortable.

**/**

In sixth grade, you bury a time capsule together. Well, you all bury it together. You, Lara Jean, Chris, John Ambrose, Peter, and Peter's friend Trevor. Josh and Peter don't get along, so Lara Jean doesn't invite him to this.

You bury a letter and your first friendship bracelet because Lara Jean is the most important thing in your life. You don't know if you'll ever find out what everyone else buried.

**/**

And then you turn twelve. And, suddenly, everyone is talking about what boys they think are cute. Lara Jean says John Ambrose has a nice smile, so you decide Peter Kavinsky does too.

Peter is decent. Peter doesn't put his hand on your knee when you talk. Peter has cute hair. Therefore, you decide Peter will do. So you tell Lara Jean that you have a crush on Peter Kavinsky, and she smiles and claps in excitement.

"You guys would be so cute together!" she says, practically bursting, "he's a really good height for you, and you guys have such cute banter! Oh, you even had a meet-cute! And childhood friends to lovers is such an underrated trope!"

It's a lot to take in, but Lara Jean is happy for you. That should make you happy. It doesn't make you happy.

You think something might be wrong with you. Like psychologically. Because nothing in the world should make you happier than your best friend telling you what a good pair you and your crush are, and yet, here you are: feeling absolutely nothing.

So you tell other people. You tell all your girlfriends, even Chris who asks why you're telling her something so lame. And it turns out Peter Kavinsky likes you back.

That should definitely excite you, but you end up feeling kind of queasy.

And thus begins what Lara Jean calls the "will they, won't they" saga for what she dubs Kavitchell. You secretly hate that ship name. Gen and Peter don't blend well together and neither do Mitchell and Kavinsky; that doesn't look good for your relationship.

You stay on the "won't they" side until one day, you take Lara Jean to her first real boy-girl party. It's another first for the collection.

"You ready?" you ask her at the front door.

She shakes her head a nervous no.

You pull your hair out of its ponytail and hold out your hand for her hers. When she gives it to you, you put your scrunchie around her wrist. It's got rabbit ears, and Lara Jean compliments the colors every time you wear it. "Here," you tell her, "for good luck."

"Really?" she asks, "you're sure?"

You roll your eyes and pull her in after you.

It takes two hours for her to do the worst thing imaginable in twelve-year-old you's mind: she kisses Peter Kavinsky. _Your_ Peter Kavinsky. Your "will they, won't they" maybe-boyfriend. And, sure, Lara Jean offers to spin the bottle again, and the kiss lasts a second, but it makes your stomach lurch.

You hate them both for the rest of the night, but you don't ask for your scrunchie back, but you don't answer Lara Jean's twelve phone calls or eight e-mails that weekend either.

Instead, you make up your mind to cross over to the "will they" side.

**/**

The next Monday at school, you try to pretend nothing has changed anyway. You sit with Lara Jean in class and pass notes that she's more responsive to than normal. You eat lunch in a group and sit next to Peter Kavinsky who smiles too much at Lara Jean. Your mom drives you, Lara Jean, Chris, and Josh to the treehouse after school, and then home an hour later.

You try, but everything has changed. And it doesn't stop changing.

You start dating Peter Kavinsky before seventh grade ends, and John Ambrose moves away. You start going to Peter's house after school instead of Lara Jean's. You start going to boy-girl parties on weekends instead of sleepovers with Lara Jean and Chris. You start going to Peter's games instead of Lara Jean's romcom-a-thons. You start being Gen instead of Gen and Lara Jean.

All of this is true, but you don't ever stop thinking about Lara Jean.

Not even when you officially stop being friends at the end of the eighth grade.

It's not a big commotion like you thought this kind of thing would be. There is no huge fight in the rain that leaves you in tears nor is there a big friend break up like in the movies. It's just that eighth-grade promotion comes, and you don't talk to Lara Jean. You don't take promotion pictures together. You don't tell her she looks cute in her cap and gown. You don't even wave at each other.

Peter Kavinsky kisses you in front of everyone, though. It's not the first time he's kissed you like that in front of everyone, but it's the first time Lara Jean hasn't given you a thumbs up afterward.

Just like that, your first best friendship is over, and Lara Jean can add your first real heartbreak to her collection of firsts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will be longer and the one after that will be longer too i think? idk i'm gonna have more to say on this, i just wanted this posted for now and it's hard to write kids povs


End file.
